in the mood for jazz

no, i'm not an expert or anywhere close to being an expert in this genre... in fact, i'm not even an amateur...

about two days ago, i stumbled across some songs by diana krall and it sounded absolutely perfect at that moment... so i've been listening to more songs from her, reading up a little bit and i found out that although she's singing jazz but she'd put an element of rnb or something like that to spice it up...

so i went in search for pure jazz and out comes the name of nat 'king' cole everywhere i looked... and his voice was just sublime...

now... i know i can't judge jazz based on a legend and an artist who mixes things up... but from what minimal amount of jazz i've heard so far, it's pretty cool...

so that got my interest up (but considering how bored i've been, this might lead up to nothing at all) and i'm just interested to get to know jazz a little bit more intimately...

can anyone suggest a good jazz cd for a beginner? i would appreciate that a lot... =)

explanation of "confused"

although i rarely explain my writings/ articles/ poems - whatever you want to call it... but i felt this one warranted an explanation. why?

1) i do not think it is a good piece (in technical terms).

2) i think the flow will confuse many. in fact, there is no flow.

3) i want to explain the title.

basically, right now, i am the one confused. am i happy? am i sad? am i depressed? am i ecstatic?

i have no idea. i am at a junction where i do not see the end of any tunnel that i look into. i do not know my goals. i do not know what i want, if i want anything.

i just have no idea.

i know it seems as though my feelings and "confused" have no connection whatsoever in the words or the reasoning... but i guess you'll just have to look deeper...

confused

confident, bold, smart,
arrogant, egoistic, foolish,
a thine line separates these,
a line almost impossible to see,

foreseeing a new path to create,
aggressive - the only way forward,
not wanting to stay in the shadows,
shining, blinding out the rest,

the wheel of possibilities in hand,
destination in sight over the horizon,
blinded by the voice of the world,
blocked out the reason of the heart,

will you know what's in store?
before you've learnt the past?
the present in not written
yet you rush forward into time

too naive for the world
too raw to see the truth
such arrogance for a virgin
so much dreams, so much hopes

you want to make a difference
you want to force an impact
you want to create a memory
you want to change history

as sure as i was at the top
i am no where to be seen
as sure as i was the best
i am no where to be heard

the time will come for each one of us
to look back and cherish or regret
our actions of the present and future
the choice is in our hands, no one else

thoughts from the office...

how far can the truth be from the imagination? bloody far - heaven and earth... hahaha...

that might sound like an exaggeration and it probably is... but i can't deny that line from crossing my mind...

well, before i graduated and before i came to know about slb, my idea of the working life is going to work, coming home to our own paradise at home and spending some time on things that we enjoy (something, anything not related to work)... as for me, that something is many things in which this blog is one of it...

i enjoy writing. truly. i enjoy the moment when i feel something and i am able to put that feeling down in words and then multiply with flowery words (meaning - exaggeration)... and besides that, there's just so many things which i enjoy spending some time on but i'm not going to go into too much details about that here... maybe another time, another day...

with that said, i do not intend to go to work just because i have to as well. i do intend to go to work, build a career and to make something out of myself. i will not be a mindless zombie following the crowd and the path that has been cleared in front of me...

but i've always figured that there has got to be a balance, get it?

so now. back to reality.

here i am in the office at 730pm blogging. well, i know... at least i can still blog right?

don't get me wrong. i'm not complaining. i did accept this job knowing what the conditions would be right? it's just that after more than 1 month of working 7 days a week from 8 to 530/700/900 (pick one)... well, something feels off, you understand?

but things will get better (i hope). i mean right now, i'm still not capable of handling any jobs... i'm still studying most of the time... still trying to cram everything i can into this very little head of mine... but the time will come when i will be allowed to handle more responsibilities... the time will come when going to work will actually be fun... and most importantly, the time will come when i can take my days off...

oh, i just can't wait...

i'll end this post with a fitting pic of me flying a kite. the "balance", you know? hahaha...

the pic below is taken by cl. location - cherating beach (impiana hotel). beautiful sky eh? truly relaxing to be there... especially with someone you love... =)

working life...

right now, it's been a little more than a month since i started my career here in kemaman. i've gotta say that it's a pretty valuable experience and i've definitely gotta admit it's tough... really tough...

anyway, since i got here, things are starting to look brighter with each passing week... and this is so much so after i came back from my convo last week... the reason - my white ferrari!

yeah! i really gotta thank cl for convincing me to drive back here after my convo... you can't believe how much a car can change things around... the nights just got brighter... =)

so how's work? well, the one thing i really appreciate is the culturally diverse workforce. to put it clearer, i just came back from dinner today and there were 5 of us and each one from a different country - malaysia, brunei, china, venezuela and nigeria. i doubt there will be many company out there capable of creating this kind of workforce.

but personally for me right now, it's still not at the point where the job is exciting yet... probably coz i'm still pretty much studying all the time and i haven't got much opportunity in getting my hands dirty... =)

well, i hope that will all change in the next couple of days coz i'm finally going offshore for the first time! that'll definitely be a moment to savour... since it's my first time... i'm really excited and nervous as well... i don't know how to prepare for it, what to bring and i dun know what to expect of the situation out there... actually, i dun even know how long i'll be there... i've been told it'll be between a week to a month... plus the helicopter ride out to the rig... oh yeah, i'll be working on a rig instead of a platform...

ps: i'm not sure if there's connection on the platform but if there is, i'll definitely try to keep a record of my days there...

...

i suddenly ran out of things to say... actually i've got a couple more things to say but i can't seem to form any sentence... so i think i'll just end my post here and go to bed for tonight... =)

good night everyone...

sweet dreams...

great week...

it's been a great week for me really...

first my convocation which had the bonus of receiving the "anugerah naib canselor" which is basically the best student award... it's been a while since i actually felt so proud of my achievements when i walked the stage to receive the award...

i would like to take this opportunity to thank my parents for putting up with my ocassional weird behaviours, all the lecturers who taught me and left their mark in me, to all my frens (uni and highschool) for being my frens... although most of you will not be reading this, but seriously, all that you did for me will not be forgotten... *this is starting to sound like an acceptance speech so i'll stop here...*

hahaha...

and the next day i'm in the papers (as shown in the previous post)... but i have to say that many of the facts printed were... well.. modified... hahaha... i dun really speak four languages unless you count all the different chinese dialects which will add up to more than four... as for tamil, well... yeah i know a few words... but that's it... now i know how the celebs feel when their words get distorted... hahaha...

and then there was that 8tv show last night... it does make me blush to see myself on tv... and i didn't know i sound so weird and i didn't realize i looked like that when i'm talking! hahaha... but it was good... =)

thanks kam for saying some nice things about me... =)

well, that wraps up the week for me... it's just too bad that i'm all the way here in kemaman and i didn't really have the time to celebrate all this... the weekend that i was back in kl was just too hectic with all the convocation preparations and soon after that i had to come back to work (that's the reason for the simple post previously...)

anyway, i've gotta go now... i'm stealing some time off work to update my blog actually... i do wish i can update my blog with more consistency but it's tough as i do not have connection outside the office these days... so i'll just try my best yeah?

i've only got one convocation picture which was sent to me by choy yee yest... so here it is - chuu liu, jiaxin and myself...

going out with a bang!

finally, after 4 long years, the day of my convocation has come and gone... more updates to follow... =)

old habits die hard...

it seems my blog is periodically active... hahaha... when it's dead, it'll be dead for some time... but when i start blogging, there's always be a few entries to follow...

anyway, i was just looking through my post and i realized i never posted anything about my trip to bali!!!

well, i've typed 2 long posts but i never manage to post it up and till now, it's still sitting there as a "draft"... hmm... gotta do something about that... =)

first real job...

hey there...

guess what? i'm working... yup... you heard me all right...

so, i hope that explains the long break from writing anything here...

lets see... where do i begin?

well, right before i started my job, i travelled to penang a couple of times... one was for pleasure, one for family business, one for st anne's feast and one for a funeral... that's why there were no updates about my trip to penang with kam and gf...

and right now... wanna know where i am? well i forgot the exact address... but just come all the way to kemaman, terengganu and ask for house no 106, lot 144... the cab will bring you straight to my house...

so... about my job...

first and foremost... i'm a field engineer (trainee for the moment)... with schlumberger... it's funny how i've always wanted to join schlumberger and now that i'm part of it, yeah... it feels weird... i'm in well services, simulation - fracturing... i know this might sound alien to you guys, but i just wanted a record for myself...

i'll try to post a pic of me in my blue coveralls and fashionable red wings safety boots... haha... i didn't know how the conditions here would be like so i packed as light as i can and with that, i left my camera at home...

and when did i start? officially, i started on the 30th of july, but i spent one week in kl for a seminar/ induction called the ofs-1 which was held in renaissance hotel. so this is just my second week here...

so anyway, hows the job? i'm not too sure... right now, there's still a lot of learning and stuff... but i think i'm going offshore end of this month, so that'll be cool... oh yeah, speaking of offshore - i went for this offshore survival and helicopter underwater evacuation training (huet) thing and it was loads of fun! it's actually to get my passport to go offshore... so they had this training where they put you in a cockpit which is supposed to resemble a chopper and they simulate the conditions of a chopper going under water... scary at first but it's cool... =) but they also had us going through this firefighting part where they made us crawl through some rooms filled with smoke... that was bad... wasn't life threatening or anything like that... but, if you're claustrophobic - stay away!

so other than that... it's study study study... and some time spent in the yard, redressing valves, performing function tests and stuff... so, for the first 2 weeks, the job's not bad...

the thing that's hitting me the hardest right now? i miss my home... =(

seriously, i never thought it would be this bad... the first three days was horrible... although it's getting better... i think it will take quite some time for me to adjust to this new environment...

so the new environment... not too bad actually... the fact that i'm able to blog from my room is better than what i expected... hahaha... ok, honestly, it's good life... i'm staying in a bloody spacious bungalow with 5 rooms... the whole house is air conditioned, there's astro, they've hired someone to help clean the house, wash our clothes... so... it's comfortable...

the only thing that would make it perfect is - my family... =(

dun really wanna talk about it here or now...

anyway, this blog is getting a bit too long and because i never planned on writing tonight, i feel the sequence is kinda messy... so i'll just end it here... and i'll end it with a pic for you guys (my loyal, non-existing followers)... hahaha...

i've joined the simpson's family! hahaha... one of my favourite cartoons of all times but i did not manage to catch the movie in the cinema... busy, busy schedule... =(

the photo (not too clear as it was taken by an ametuer... ehem... you know who you are...) was taken a while back when i went to the curve for dinner with pui leng, yi kang, choy yee, choy yee's bf (sorry i always forget his name) and chuu liu... we had a good time that night and we watched shrek3... oh... those were the good times... =)

from penang...

just a short update from penang (tanjung bungah)...

well, had a great time with kam and sharon the past weekend... but i'll update more about that later with some pics... anyway, this is the first time i met sharon and well, i found out she's pretty great to hang out with (always cheerful but with some lame jokes which she insist is logic)... good choice kam... hahaha... just joking, no offense ok?

anyway, i'm in cl's lil bro's house (room actually) right now waiting to watch the long awaited movie - TRANSFORMERS!!! i hope it's gonna be good... =)

hmm, what else? oh yeah... i learnt some pretty shocking news... regarding family (nov the 3rd stuff)... will talk bout that later...

that's all for now...

070707

i just think it would be cool to be able to look back at this title - 070707...

if i were a little bit older, i would probably get married or something at a date like this, hahaha...

anyway, about 3 hours from now, i'll be heading up to penang with cl, kam and kam's gf (sharon)... we'll be putting up a night at the g hotel (weird name, huh?) and after that kam and sharon will head back to kl on sunday while cl will return home to alma and i'll spend about a week or so with my grandma... so i guess there won't be much blogging for about a week from now...

about the trip, we'll be travelling in my little white "ferrari" (see pic above)... hahaha... coz i do plan to do a little bit of driving once kam gets back to kl. at the moment, the list of places are langkawi (to get some miniatures wine and liquors for my collection), padang besar (might even cross into thailand) and cherating (i dun think this will happen)... so we'll just have to see how things goes...

oh yeah, just a little update about my upcoming show on national tv... hahaha... i spent a day at the petronas research centre in bangi to get some visuals and it was, well... interesting... hahaha... i mean, the whole atmosphere was relaxed but at times it just freaks me out when the camera gets really close to my face... and also, it was such a coincidence that a former sauber petronas engineer (now with bmw sauber) was there visiting some old frens... so i got the chance to meet him and he gave me this -

isn't it cool to be able to give someone a name card like this? it remains a dream for me... at least for now... =)

ok, i really got to get some sleep now for the long drive tomorrow... or maybe i should say "later"...

good night and sweet dreams...

sammi - live in genting (220607)

like i said, i was going to upload some pics from the sammi concert last week... i know it's a little bit delayed, but that's the way my blog is gonna be for a while i guess - i'm still busy painting and cleaning my house and i dun see my schedule clearing up for this blog once i start working which is at the end of this month.

ok, back to the main story. sammi cheng - i started listening to her songs in form 3 i think. that's almost 10 years ago. the album was arigatou and i got hooked the first time i heard her. well, to cut a long story short, i dun think there is any concert of any other female singer from hong kong worth attending at the moment.

honestly, i was excited when i found out that she's coming to malaysia. i thought i've missed out on watching her live since she went quiet for some time... with that, i booked the tickets the very next day only to find that it's almost sold out. so i got the best available tickets... although it cost me 130 bucks per ticket, it was well worthwhile as i found out... =)

sammi's opening act... she looked really sexy in this number... =)

i liked that blue thing dancing behind her... too bad i can't get a clear shot of it...

sammi explaining to the audience the true reason behind her disappearance for about 2 years...

this is when the show became really upbeat - too bad the audience weren't really showing any vibes. most of them were just sitting in their seats... i guess malaysians just aren't a wild crowd by nature...

she went really crazy in the middle of this - it did get the crowd going a while... but, it didn't really matter... still an entertaining show... =)

her encore performance is actually not an encore at all... it was well rehearsed and she performed an additional 2 songs... or was it 3? i can't really remember...

well, as this is only the third concert that i've been to, i can't really be rating it amongst the rest... but i dare say it's definitely worth the price... a wonderful performer with a strong voice... i wasn't disappointed... =)

with that, i will end this post with my first ever video posting... since there's a limit of 100mb, this will just be a short clip of sammi live in genting...

good looks?

i was waiting for chuu liu outside the restroom in genting today after the sammi cheng's concert (which i will upload some pictures very soon... hopefully...) when i noticed those ppl walking by... some were pretty normal, you know - your average joe/ jane... however, there were some who stood out from the crowd...

why do these ppl stand out? are they particularly good looking? or is it just their confidence which enables them to carry themselves around with more swagger?

anyway, i got around to thinking about myself. honestly, during my earlier years, i wasn't confident about my appearance at all. not to say that it bothers me, but i think i'd be the kind to blend with the background... if you get what i mean. over the years, i've learnt to be more confident... not to say that i'm vain or anything like that, but i began believing the fact that the surface appearance is not as important anymore...

perhaps it's just what i wanna believe. do i look good? i dunno, but i ain't ugly that's for sure. so i'm pretty convinced that good looks comes second after personality... which i would love to believe to be the area i'd ace in... =)

i know this entry is pretty crappy - i wanted to blog about the sammi cheng concert which was awesome! but it's 5 am and i'm pretty lazy to transfer the pics from my camera and to upload it for my blog... so that will have to wait...

well, that's all for now - good night and sweet dreams... =)

quick update...

i know i've been away for some time... well, i've actually stopped updating ever since i've officially ended my university education by handing in my thesis. to be fair, i've actually spent a lot less time in front of the computer ever since i've completed my thesis... so can't blame me for taking a break from blogging huh? anyway, here's a quick update on what i've been up to for the past couple of months or so...

as soon as my thesis was completed and handed in (300407), i've had my passport done and i flew over to bali with chuu liu for a well deserved break. at least i think it is well deserved... hahaha... that trip was from 050507 to 080507 (4 days 3 nights). pictures and an entry dedicated to bali will be up soon - i promise! but please be patient, it was a great place and i've had a wonderful time.... so there's really plenty to write... =)

so, back in kl, i actually took a small job from my uniten lecturer to produce a 3d modelling of a labyrinth seal... that took up some of my time, but it also made me richer by 200 bucks... hahaha...

what else? oh yeah... some really shocking news... on the 110507, i received a call from haza, a gal from 8tv. she's telling me that they've got this program coming up in conjunction with our national day called "dare to dream". the program is basically meant to introduce some unconventional jobs to the malaysian public. the show will feature someone already in the job and an aspiring undergraduate - some sort of a mentor/ mentee thing. and they've got this segment which introduces this ex-sauber petronas f1 engineer. so they've been calling a few universities and the head of department from uniten actually gave them my contact - thank you!

so, i went over to meet haza, talked to her (i guess she just wanted to see if i could speak fluent english and if i'm a presentable material) and she asked for a copy of my thesis and resume to be sent over to petronas. petronas wanted to hand pick the "aspiring undergraduate" as to look after their own image. so after a couple of days, haza called me and confirmed of my participation! hahaha... kinda exciting stuff since i've never been on tv... anyway, the shooting will take place on the 030707.

next, on the 260507, i attended the "a1 gp end of season party" held at the proton showroom in shah alam. it was a formal buffet dinner event, where alex yoong actually took the opportunity to thank everyone who have shown their support towards the team and also to introduce the team to those present. it's good to see that there are quite a number of malaysians involved in a team that's representing malaysia at the highest level of motorsport.

oh yeah, in between all these, i actually read 6 books - 4 dan brown (angels and demon, da vinci code, deception point, digital fortress) and 2 dean koontz (the husband, velocity)... pretty good stuff... =)

on the 120607, on invitation from vtc (the company i collaborated with for my final year project), i've attended a vehicle dynamic workshop held in iium. second time this year i've been to iium and i am still impressed with the atmosphere there. well, the workshop is basically to introduce some new simulation and optimization software and also to introduce the facilities available in iium which includes an impressive 25% scale wind tunnel. the wind tunnel costs a staggering 13 million bucks! overall, the it's an interesting workshop... and if not for the better prospects offered by the oil and gas industry, this is definitely and area of interest...

wow, this quick preview is getting pretty long winded... anyway, last update - i'm going to genting tomorrow (220607) to watch sammi cheng's concert! that would be fun... she's actually one of my favourite female artist and probably the only chinese female singer whose concert i am willing to watch... this would actually be my third concert in genting since last dec - michael bolton, boyz to men and sammi... not bad huh? =)

i actually wanted to talk about my job offers and the options i have including the pros and cons presented by these options... but i think i'll save that for another day... plus there's a couple of other stuff that i want to add but i can't quite remember it now, so i'll post as my memory recovers... =)

ps: i'm thinking of posting/ uploading my thesis in my blog. it's in pdf format. can anyone tell me how do i do that?

it's official...

well, i've been going on and on about the impending end of my undergrad life in uniten. i've had a few post to express what i hoped was an accurate account of my feelings before, during and after my "final" final exams. i've spoken about the excitement, the euphoria, the relief...
but now, at this very moment, it is official... i have handed in my thesis on the 300407 at 1500 hours and that, my friends, signals the end. yup... i've crossed the finish line and i've taken the chequered flag...

anyway, this doesn't feel too special... hahaha... what a contradiction huh?

get well soon...

to kam:

hey bro, really sorry to hear bout your dad. seeing him in the hospital today, i can't imagine how it must be like for you and your family to bear these past few days. just have faith and everything will be fine... i really can't think of anything else to say...

bro, if you need anything at anytime, just give me a call ok?

take care. and take care of your mum k?

hope your dad gets well soon...

update...

relief...

i guess that best explains my feelings right now. although i didn't have the best of finishes in uniten, but the relief i felt after the paper was overwhelming. i said i didn't have the best of finishes coz it was indeed one of the worst final papers i have ever had in uniten. the paper had 3 questions - one took me and hour to complete, one was bloody confusing and the other, i have no idea how to solve.

so, mechatronics, you've spoilt it for me.

but, no matter how the paper was, once i stepped out of the exam hall, all i could think of was the times that i've had in uniten. the good and the bad times. i still remember the nervous wreck that i was when i sat for my fist paper in this hall. and now, i'm stepping out of it for the last time.

anyway, i didn't have much time to think about how i was feeling after the paper. once i got home, i rushed to get my bags packed and before long, i was on the plane to kuantan, pahang. from there i was picked up and about 90 minutes later, i'm in kemaman, terengganu.

like i've said, i was there for an interview, a practical screening. and from what i've seen, the job is definitely a challenge. however, i do have a feeling that the true challenge will be whether i do accept the job when it is offered. i've always known that the job will be tough. i always felt that it is the kind that i would enjoy. but i do have some doubt - if i have what to takes to perform.

anyway, it's getting really late and i've gotta be up early tomorrow to continue my final year project. have some post processing to do. i know i'm jumping here and there with this post, but i'm exhausted right now. and i dun think there is much of a point in talking about the job until it's offered. so, finger's crossed...

till next time, good night and sweet dreams...

this is it...

this is it...

5 more hours to my final examination... my final paper after 4 years in uniten. i actually visualized this moment during my first semester. and now that it's finally here, it seems surreal. probably coz i'm just too tired. or maybe it's also because, it suddenly didn't seem to be such a big deal.

life goes on...

anyway, as soon as i finish my paper tomorrow, i will have to start packing as i'm flying over to kemaman, terengganu for a field assessment. basically, it's a practical screening for one of the job interviews that i've been attending. wish me luck!

that's a pretty good way to end my years as an undergraduate huh? anyway, my flight is at 1710 hours and i'll be flying back to kl the next day at 1830 hours. so it's gonna be kinda hectic for me - especially with my final year project presentation next tues (170407).

well, that's enough break for now. i need to get back to my books. i wanna end my uniten life with a bang!

final steps...

i dunno why i keep posting bout this, but somehow at this stage, it just seems necessary... you know, like it's "the thing to do"...

anyway, i'm talking bout me being in my final semester, sitting for my "final" final exams...

right at this moment, it's two down and one to go... =)

so it's just one more paper, one more presentation and one more thesis - all to be completed by the 30th of April which gives me about 3 weeks... after that, i'm done!

and you know what? at this very moment, as i'm typing away at my computer, i dun really want to be done. i don't. why?

that's a good question and i dun really have the answer. i guess the closest i could think of is - i'm afraid. truly frightened. afraid of the fact i'm leaving the security of being a student... afraid of taking up my first full time job... afraid of facing the harsh world out there... afraid of acknowledging the realities of life...

i've always not dealt with uncertainties well... just dun have the confidence or the courage to do so... every time i have a situation to face, i will have all the possibilities figured out... although i can't cover all possibilities to every event in my life, but i've done pretty much alright... you won't believe the kind of things that i imagine in my head all the time... and i'll always have the solution to every possibility... well, almost every possibility... there is always a chance where something comes and hits you from behind and just knocks you unconscious...

anyway, what i'm trying to say, i guess, is that i don't know wat to expect after this three weeks. i know my life will change. but i don't know how and i can't even tell the magnitude of the change. and this is bothering me. i guess 17 years in the education system has made me comfortable. and i dun want to leave this comfort zone. not now. not yet.

if only...

if only
you strummed the strings of my heart
if only
you sang to the tune of my soul
if only
you danced to the rhythm of my life
if only
you held to the silence of my thoughts
if only...

ps: if only i could continue writing this article, it might turn out pretty good... but i ran out of "if only"... =)

will i miss this?

well, i'm talking about the feelings running through me right now as i prepare for my final "final exams"... the normal feelings are there... you know... anxiety, nervousness, freaking out, not knowing what to expect, feeling tired although i've had more than enough sleep... oh yeah, and the feeling that anything is more interesting than my books right now... but, there are some new feelings added this time around...

relief? joy? excitement? sad? not wanting to move on...

i mean... this is it you know? after 17 years in the education system, i'm finally graduating! i'm moving on to a new phase in my life... you know what i mean?

(jason and kam - i know you two have moved past this... but, can you remember how you felt when it was your final "finals"?)

anyway, uniten has been good to me... had a few great frens, more than a few great lecturers...

anyway, i've just got another 5 days to my first paper... it's on a saturday... imagine that! so back to my books for the last time? i really can't describe the feeling going through me right now...

amazing race asia?

hi...

just wondering, would anyone be interested in taking part in the next edition of the amazing race asia with me?

hahaha... this is actually a question for kam and/ or jason in particular... or even jacky, ang, zihui... but these guys never do read my blog... so...

kam/ jason... interested?

i'm interested in the 100k cash prize and also because i'll be free for about 3 months once i graduate... =)

wrong attraction?

it feels weird when my leg is getting more attention than me. everytime i walk past ppl these past couple of days, they would just turn back to look at my leg. feels really weird. well, actually i know why they do that. but it's still weird.

the reason? last thurs i played futsal with jacky and friends... at one point, i jumped to avoid a tackle and i landed awkwardly on my left leg. with that, my ankle was twisted pretty bad. to make things worse, i skinned my knee around the size of a 50 cent coin (slightly larger actually) and it's pretty deep too.

at first, i thought it was just a twisted ankle although the chinese physician that i went to suggested that i probably fractured my ankle. well, i dun think it's that bad - the pain has subsided (it's already been a week!) but the thing is right now, my foot is still swollen and it still hurts around my ankle. it feels like my whole leg is bruised especially at the joints, it feels like my foot is blue-black (i dunno how to describe this)...

ok... back to the story of ppl staring at my foot... it's probably just because i have been limping around uniten for the past week... hahaha...

ps: you know the sad part of the story? i just bought a new pair of shoes and that was the first time i wore that pair for futsal... talk about lousy luck... =(

beginning of the end...

i'm updating my blog from uniten's library. this could most probably be the last time i will do so. and honestly, i can't remember when was the previous time i actually did this... was it in my first year? or second year? it all seems so long ago.

right now, i'm in the middle of the traditionally hectic time of the semester. with about 3 weeks to go to my finals... and about 7 weeks to hand in my thesis (signalling the end of my career as an undergraduate), things can't get more cramped than this...

next week, i'll have 2 tests, a project to hand in and a presentation. the week after that, i will have to hand in the draft copy of my thesis and my final year project logbook. the following week, i'll be having my finals which will be on the 7th, 8th and 10th of april. at least this finals i will only have three papers to worry about and i won't have any continuous papers like last sem...

once the finals are over, i'll have about 5 days to get ready for my final year project presentation and my thesis is due on the 30th of april.

so how's that for a tight schedule? i can barely breath... but i'm still trying my best to not let the pressure get over me. this is my final sem and i'm trying my best to get it over with as relaxed as possible.

so, wish me luck and hopefully i will be able to update my blog before everything is done... i guess this period of time may not be the most important of my life... but it will certainly be a defining moment... whatever the outcome, i couldn't have wished for more... =)

and now, i shall return to war... hahaha...

title and comments please...

i wrote this when i was a little bit angry... just a little... let me emphasize on the "little"...

ok... and when you read this, just keep in mind that it is about no one... the characters do not exists... the "i" is definitely not me and the "you" refers to no one in particular...

you see... when i write these poems/articles... i like to take my feelings at that particular moment and magnify it by 10... or maybe 100... so some might find my writings a bit to extreme but i say it gives my writings more emotion... you've got your way, i've got mine...

now, what i need to complete this article/ poem... is a title... i just can't figure out one that is suitable...

and probably some comments from anyone... i dun think this piece is good... just i haven't written in a while... so... comments ok? anything... just leave it here...

I love you, more than anything
I hate you, almost just as much
What am I to do with you?
How do I love and not hate?

Stop messing with me and love me
Stop being a person and be my love
Stop caring about anything but us
Stop being an individual but a partner

Sacrifices has to be made
Sacrifices do not hurt
Sacrifices are voluntary actions
Sacrifices are our bond

I will not cross the barren desert
I will not climb the highest mountain
I will not walk through the fires of hell
I will change myself for you

I will not endure all those torture
Not because I am not willing to
But I know you will not allow it
You will not force me through pain

I have faith in you
I need the faith repaid
I have trust in you
I need the trust repaid

I love you, more than anything
I will continue to love you
Yes that I will do, yes
Love without consequences

Motorola IVEC 2007 : part 2 (v2.0)

hmm... just when i thought i've managed to reduce my to do list, i've gotta start all over again... ok... explanation about the "v2.0" on my title - this is my second try in getting this entry done... i've actually completed it once but my streamyx failed me and i lost the post... the entire post... so forgive me if this post is not as comprehensive... i've lost the mood...

so... where did i stop in part 1? right... the second stage...

the second stage of the the competition, there are 2 parts... first, there'll be a treasure hunt with 5 stations and at each station, we'll be given an iq question. if we solved it, we'll be given an item. these items would eventually help us in completing the second part of the second stage. for the second part, we'll be given an incomplete motorola 2-way radio and with the items which we've obtained during the treasure hunt, we are given one hour to fix the radio and also to make sure that it is water resistant. we can seal the phone however we want to, as long as it is not visible once the radio is assembled. the 3 radios which can last the longest submerged in water without leaking, will then be weighed to see who can complete the task with minimum item. the top two groups will then proceed on to stage three. sounds simple right?

so, after we were briefed, we were all waiting with excitement for the treasure hunt to begin. sadly, some miscommunication by the organizers led to the cancellation of the treasure hunt. so instead of running around to obtain our items, we were given the iq questions in a classroom. i think our group did quite well in this stage as we've managed to solve 4 out of the 5 questions. not bad, huh? i'll try to draw some of the questions and post it later... (if i've got the time which i highly doubt it)... hehehe...

so, with the items in our hands, we started fixing the 2 way radio. in this part of the competition, we kinda attracted a lot of attention from the motorola judges... i was surprised as they were always standing around our group. but when i took a look around, i found out why... you see, in solving this task, our group was pretty animated. we were always moving around, walking, standing, sitting on the table, discussing... you get the picture, right? but the other groups... they actually sat down quietly (i can't hear anyone but us talking actually) and just did the task like it was an exam... well, i brought this up coz i was just curious - how can you work in a group without talking? hmm...

at the end of the hour, all the radios were submerged into a tank simultaneously and the intense wait begun. we've waited for about 45 minutes before all but 3 radios were eliminated. and guess what? we've made it into the top 3! hahaha... we were elated!

with much higher hopes and much more optimism, we held our breath as the 3 radios were weighed. much to our disappointment, we were the heaviest phone among the 3. what made it worse was the fact that we lost out to um by merely 4 grams! so you know how light that is?

with that, um and iium made it into the third stage which somehow reminded me of those quizzes which we usually watch on tv. the only difference is that this one had a really bad host. anyway, iium went on to win the competition and sparked a small controversy which left a bad taste with some participants.

you see, there were complaints by certain participants on how the whole competition were in iium's favour in the first place. and there were also some suggestion on how the quiz seems to require a substantial amount of luck rather than engineering knowledge and um lost because of the confusing rules. well, i wouldn't want to go any further than that.

as far as i'm concerned, we went to iium with no preparation and absolutely no expectations. we've emerged as the second runners-up and 250 bucks richer per person (the prize money for second runners-up is 1 thousand bucks). more importantly, in the spirit of the game, is that we lost to a better team. i honestly believed that. so i've got no complaints. =)

here are some pictures of us at the prize giving ceremony... =)

this was the hall where the prize giving ceremony was held... looks grand huh?

let's give it up for the champions!!! ok... second runners-up...

the first, second and third placed team with the dean of engineering, iium

from the left: siow yien, pui leng, chuu liu and the great one... muahahaha (evil laughter please)...

ps: this is the first time i've won any prize which requires a mock cheque and i'm still keeping the mock cheque...hahaha...

getting old?

recently i've discovered that i can't really do things that i would have breezed through a few years ago... and i'm not even talking about any physical activities here. last weekend, i was trying to catch up on lost time with my final year project, so i basically slept about 3 hours a day and the rest of the day was spent in front of my computer screen... however, by the third day, i was feeling kinda sick and really, really exhausted. i ended up in bed with cold and fever...

the events of the past three days made me think - i used to be able to sleep 3 hours a day for a whole week without feeling any effects... what was so different? am i really getting older? is this really the result of one getting older? i'm only 24 for crying out loud! how can i be old?

whatever the reason is, i've gotta start taking better care of my body... with my final sem into it's last month, i can't risk getting sick and screwing up my final weeks as a student...

on a lighter note, i spent the week during chinese new year in my grandma's house in penang... it's the usual cny mood i guess - noisy, hot and lotsa food... =) but it was good spending time back in my parents' hometown. kinda relaxing i guess...

anyway, i've captured some photos of my favourite "symbol" of the chinese new year - the lion dance! i've always enjoyed watching these ever since i was a kid and i'm still amazed by it. so here you go... it's not the fancy lion dance performance that you find in shopping malls, these are those that goes around the village to perform to anyone who welcomes these "lions"...

final payment...

with this invoice and receipt, i've finally paid up the whole sum required for my four year degree course of mechanical engineering in UNITEN. the total tuition fee alone costs about rm 40k in total.

this post is just a reminder for myself on the amount of money invested to be an engineer... i hope i do not waste it... =)

Motorola IVEC 2007 : part 1

ourlast weekend i joined an engineering competition mainly sponsored by motorola (hence the title) for fun. it's held in the international islamic university (iium) in gombak from fri (12/01/07) to (14/01/07). basically, it's a group event and each university is only allowed to send in 2 teams. luckily for me, students of uniten aren't so keen in joining such competitions so i got the chance to represent my uni.

so, all i know about the competition before i left home for iium is the fact that it has three stages and each stage is an elimination round. but to be honest, the fact that the competition is gonna be held in iium interest me more. i've heard so much about this university that it fascinates me - the culture, the belief, the practice... ermm... i might sound a little bit racist here, but i assure you i am not... i am just curious...

so anyway, once i reached iium, the first thing that struck me is how beautiful the university is... i guess it has got the best location for a uni in malaysia with highlands as it's backdrop throughout the university...

ok... back to the competition, i was grouped with chuu liu (my batch, mech eng), pui leng (my batch, electrical eng) and siow yien (junior, electrical eng). i have to add here that we arrived in iium with totally no expectation whatsoever especially since we totally did not prepare ourselves. but when we heard that whoever advances to the second stage (top 10) will receive 500 bucks, it automatically became our target.

anyway, the first stage of the competition was divided into three parts:

- part one: problem solving. we were presented with a problem and then we were given one hour to solve it and present it to the motorola engineers.

- part two: practical test. this is where every member of the group will have to choose a task between c-programming, manual drawing, workshop and circuit lab work. i choose manual drawing as i was the most qualified in our team i guess.

- part three: a multiple choice quiz where every mistake will cost us a -1 point. this quiz covers everything from engineering questions to general knowledge to iq questions.

so, the day actually started well and after i presented our idea in the first part of stage one, i was quietly confident. but when the day went on and i sat for the practical test, my confidence shrunk. i thought i was good in manual drawing... but let's just say i'm totally wrong! that's not the worst part yet... when i sat for the mcq quiz, my confidence was virtually non-existent... at the end of it all, we were quite exhausted so we headed out of the campus to re-energize ourselves with a huge dose of mcdonald's! hahaha...

then, the next day arrived, the moment we were all waiting for... and guess what? after the first stage, we were in the fifth place! we're through to the second round! now the confidence is back and there's an air of anticipation among us... so we were now eagerly looking forward to the second stage...

and for the second stage of the competition, i'll continue with that in the next post... i know there's a possibility that next post to come after a few weeks, but it's almost 3am now and i've got a fully packed day tomorrow... so... good night!

here i am in iium! this is the main building of iium i think... well, it's the first building as we enter the gate and it looks kinda majestic...

the mosque in iium... i was told that it's the center point of the university and i would expect no less actually... but truth be told, it all looks really grand...

feeling blue...

i've been feeling a little bit on the down side the past couple of days. no idea why and although it's become something of a rarity these days, i still hate these mood swings. i can't control it as much as i can't control the sun giving way to the moon... but talking about it, even writing about it here makes me feel weak...

and i hate that feeling...

welcome 2007

i ushered in the new year with great caution and worry... 2007 could be a huge in both extremes - it might turn out to be the year that changed my life for the better or worse... in three months, i will be graduating and with that i will be faced with a list of decisions accompanied by many consequences... come to think of it, all my life, the choices that i had to make were rather straightforward and simple...

after my primary school, i applied for the best high school at the time and i was offered a place... after spm, i decided to challenge myself with stpm, a choice which i learnt to regret at first but i started to appreciate it more as time goes by... i've learnt a great deal from my 2 years spent in form 6... not particularly enriching my knowledge but more on the "real world" - i know, it's a little bit too cliche...

the choices set in front of me after my stpm were trimmed due to my pretty screwed-up result and also partly due to my stubbornness in wanting no less than to pursue a degree in mechanical engineering or chemical engineering... no more UM, USM, UTM and the likes... i was offered a place in Kolej Universiti Teknologi Tun Hussein Onn to do mech eng actually which i wasn't keen on enrolling - i was advised not to in fact by many ppl... i had to forget about private colleges and overseas education as well due to the financial situation.. therefore, i settled on applying for UNITEN and UTP, both being semi-private therefore affordable...

the choice of enrolling in UNITEN actually was made based on location more than anything else... i would have preferred UTP coz i actually had chemical engineering as my first choice and UNITEN only offered mechanical... but since UNITEN is just 25km away from home and about 5 thousand bucks cheaper per year, the choice is pretty much clear...

so far, i've got not much complaints... none at all actually... but in three months, the first and most obvious decision that i have to make is do i cont my studies or do i plunge head first into the working world? i know myself well enough to make the conclusion that once i start working, i can't sit my ass down to study anymore... but i do not want to blindly give up my pursuit in education that i look back 5 years from now and think to myself "what if?"... no... i do not want to regret any decision that i make now...

so what do i do? i haven't got the faintest idea... not yet anyway...

i'm back!

hey there...

i'm back home after one week in kota kinabalu with shell's gourami business challenge. it was loads of fun! anyway, more about that later...

right now, i'm finally into the last semester of my degree in uniten and it's actually going into it's 4th week now... i hope this last sem of mine will be nothing but smooth...

and finally new year is here... this new year will be kinda different as ly is no longer celebrating it with me... after 6 new year's eve with her, this year is definitely a little bit strange...

hmm... i know this entry is all a one-liner update, but i'm in a rush... i'll be spending new year's eve with my family this year and we'll be going of to port dickson in a couple of hours time... so i've got to start packing now...

i'll be back with more news bout the gourami challenge soon... and for now, i'll just leave you all with a group pic taken during my stay in kk...

industrial training part 1

here's a really belated post about my industrial training and my 3 month stay in penang... i'm not really in the mood to type a long post, therefore i'll let the pics do most of the talking... =)

first and foremost, this is where i work... it used to be agilent technologies alone but they kinda sold their semicon dept to avago technologies and they are currently sharing the same building... the working experience was beneficial i would say... it was valuable not in any technical sense but more in the sense that i was exposed to a real working environment - the "real world" as my supervisor would say...

and this is where i stayed... it cost 500 bucks a month but i shared it with 3 other uniten mates so it's 125 per person... it has 2 rooms, 1 bath, 1 toilet, a comfortable living room and kitchen and it even has a tiny balcony... not too bad and i got quite comfortable living there too... provided some memorable moments...

this here was my room for that 3 months... i slept on the top and as you can see, that's my comp... u didn't think i'd leave my comp at home for three months did you? i can't survive 3 months without my precious... =)

that place really ain't too bad... there's even a river view from my house... hehehe... and from the picture, you can see my ever trusty ride - the classic white proton saga... it's old but reliable (most of the time, anyway)...

hmm... i can't seem to post anymore pictures... i guess there is a limit on the size of each blog... so i'll make this a 2 part blog - second half coming right up!

can't forget (but life goes on...)

the events of nov the 3rd still lingers fresh in my memory. will i ever forget it ever happened? i doubt it... but i pray each night that i will have the courage somewhere in my heart to forgive them... in the meantime, life goes on...

sometime last week, a couple of days after my finals were over (i kinda lost track of time), i received a call from shell... well, good news i guess but i'm not really in the mod to rejoice right now... anyway i'll be flying to kota kinabalu on the 13th of dec to join the shell gourami business challenge... basically they (shell) will be bringing a group of asian undergraduates together to see how well we work together and how well we perform (i dun really know the tasks yet)... if we're good enough, they'll offer us a job... i'm not too optimistic right now but i'll just take it as a break... and if we're gonna be staying at any of the islands in sabah then it could turn out to be a splendid holiday... =)

hmm... my mind is blank... i guess that's it for now...

one more thing - i'm currently on my one month break which will be until the 11th of dec but i'll be rather busy this one month trying to complete my final year project... so i guess there's not much plan for having fun... =(

3rd November 2006

i have said that i will not post again till after my finals. but this is a date that i will remember for the rest of my life. on this day- my life, my family, my belief is changed and i doubt it will ever be the same again.

i would like to say that the change is a positive one. but sadly, there isn't a a worse change that i can think of at the moment. i wish i could pour out my feelings here but i will not. it saddens me to think that this will happen to me and my family.

at the moment, my heart aches as if i have lost a loved one... and i dun think it will ever heal...

another break?

it seems that every time i'm determined to start blogging frequently again, i'll post one entry and then take another long break from blogging... but it's not my fault!
my finals are around the corner... in four days time actually and my exam schedule this sem is simply just killing me... i've got one paper on the 2nd, 2 papers on the 8th and 1 paper on the 9th... i know it's just 4 papers but that 3 back to back papers is a bit too much for me to handle...

so i guess i'll be disappearing for another 2 weeks or so... rotten luck...

football pics...

this was my team during the third-fourth placing match penalties. it was disappointing to lose like this but we've gone beyond all expectations by reaching the semi-finals in the first place... and again, it was fun... =)

need to start somewhere...

at first, i was thinking of blogging about everything that happened in sequence... i mean from the time i stopped blogging till now... since i kinda stopped blogging at the end of my industrial training which was way back in june, that means i've got about 4 months of blogging to catch up and i think it will take me forever to do that. so instead of leaving everything backlogged, i might as well blog about the current happenings and blog about the things that i've missed when i have the time to...

anyway, here it goes...

the past weekend was supposed to be a bloody hectic one for me. i was supposed to have tests on thurs and fri, one programming assignment to hand in on friday, one project presentation on sat which weighs 25% of my total project and a football tournament in seremban on sat as well... packed huh?

well, things started kinda bad for me. i screwed up the paper on thurs - some really silly mistakes and some wrong definitions. then, the exam was postponed as well as the assignment due date (i've just completed the assignment). so, all of a sudden, my friday is free. that gave me some extra time to prepare for my presentation though...

then saturday came... i finished up my presentation slides at about 330am saturday morning and went to bed. i was supposed to print the slides at my dad's office but i was to lazy to go over at that time so i figured i might as well go to bed and wake up earlier to print my slides...

i woke up at 630, went over to my dad's office thinking that everything is going according to plan... i tried to open the gate and then... the key broke! can u believe it? the key broke in the lock! nevermind, i told myself... just stay cool... there must be an extra key at home... but... guess what - there is no extra key!

with that, my dad called one of his colleagues who were kind enough to bring the key over, let me into the office and i printed my slides. in the end, i was still late for the presentation but the lecturers for my session were quite 'selamba' so it was ok.

my presentation went on quite smoothly although i took 5 minutes more than the allocated time... the questions asked by the lecturers weren't to tough so i guess it's not too bad... anyway, after my presentation, it's time to PLAY!

=)

football... my personal drug of life...

i guess i need to start from the beginning about this tournament...

a while back (i forgot when exactly), i registered for this futsal tournament organized by my church in aid of the orang asli building project. i registered for fun actually and also because i haven't played in ages. at first i was thinking that it's gonna be a simple game, nothing serious. but i was shocked on the day of the tournament.

for the game, we just gave our particulars to the organizer and they divided us into our respective teams. this is to give everyone an equal opportunity (in terms of age, i guess). because we do not even know our teammates before that day and also because it's a church tournament, i didn't really have much expectation. but how wrong can i be...

the tournament was truly challenging and fun! there were extremely plenty of talented footballers and some were even state players... we had fun but i was a bit lacking physically as i haven't been playing for so long... anyway, in that tournament, my team won the silver medal! hahaha... my first futsal medal...

as a result of my performance during that tournament (hahaha... time for some self-praise) i was called to practice for the inter-church tournament which is scheduled for 14th october. honestly, i think i did perform pretty well during that futsal tournament, scoring more than a handful of goals... hehehe...

so, i went for the training as scheduled. but, this is the end of the fairy tale... i did not continue scoring freely... i did not play as well as i did during the futsal tournament... reason - we're playing field football... do you know when was the last time i put on my boots to play field football? that was like in 2002!

anyway, i still made it to the final team which is the reason why i rushed to seremban after my presentation last saturday. we made it to the semi in that tournament, losing on penalties in the third-fourth placing match. i guess i played ok in that tournament - the highlight being a sublime back pass... ok... enough self praise...

this whole football thing was good for me i guess. physically, my fitness has improved tremendously. comparing to the four years i've been in uniten, i guess i've never been as fit as this. realistically, i've also learnt that my football skills ain't that good. seriously, i once thought i could play anywhere... but not anymore...

no matter what, i still do enjoy the game and i always will... =)

i just realized something... this blog is getting way too long... i guess i'll stop here and continue on next time... i'll post a couple of pic on the football tournament soon... for now, i've got to prepare for the test tomorrow, the one i was supposed to have last friday...

so, how was my weekend? good or bad? i dunno... all i know for sure is that i enjoyed it... =)

ps: kam came back again... we went out for a drink, played some futsal... had fun... hehehe... i just wanted to mention his name so that he doesn't think that i forgot bout him again... =)

it's been too long...

hi folks... it's been a while since i last wrote anything here... and a hell lot of events have unfolded in that period of time in which i have disappeared...

the routine life of a student has returned but i guess the events of the past 3 or 4 months have changed my life indefinitely. i won't be writing a long post here as i've got a long day tomorrow and i'll need the rest tonight. however, let's just make a list of things which i would like to write about in the next few entries.

1) industrial training experience
2) final year project
3) langkawi trip
4) football
5) last but definitely the most important - ly

i would surely love to be able to post more frequently but with my schedule these days, i cannot guarantee any of that. but i will try to keep this blog alive. it is my personal space after all...